Dear Dad: Making Sense of Making It Great

Dear Dad:

It has been over a year and a half since I wrote my last letter. Mostly because I have been insanely busy. It seems like everyone lives practically spinning in their own sets of responsibilities and irresponsibilities. We have also been preoccupied with one of the craziest fights in American history. As I sat back, apathetic to politics and the people who run for any political office, a butt load of ego maniacs thought they were best suited to become our next president.

You know this best. We talked about it often and struggled with what was happening. To be honest, I was not on team Hillary at first. Before the landscape became narrowed down, I was curious who all of these people were vying for my vote. I don’t vote straight democrat or republican any more. That’s because there are so many folks on both parties that I either relate to and stand behind what they stand for. But then the unthinkable thing happened. A grown, successful, prominent celebrity started to let the entire thing get to his head.

I am the first to admit, I was a huge Donald Trump fan. When he was on Howard Stern, I would laugh. When he wrote books, I often read them. And when he started The Apprentice, I was secretly hoping that one day I would compete and win the show. So when he first announced he candidacy, like most, I never took it serious. But he grew into a beast, appealing to people who were buying his crap. It was crap. Never once did I learn about positive things he wanted to do for me or the country that would make us “great again”. P.s. we are great now and hopefully will stay great.

The words. The painful words that each time I heard them I cringed. Calling people crooked, little, liar, ugly, and on and on. Making fun of disabled, questioning the military, threatening to jail someone, wanting to build a wall to try to keep people out that will find a way back in, claiming the media was corrupt, allowing the KKK newspaper and its leaders to endorse you, threatening to kick hundreds of thousands out of USA, insulting presidents and other political and important leaders, saying Saturday Night Live was boring, and worst of all confessing that you can grab a girl’s pXXXX because you were famous. I would never hire someone with these qualifications, would never date someone like this, and would never, never, never vote for someone like this to run my business let alone the place I live.

Our country deserves better.

Hillary did have to grow on me. I was a little sceptical after the email scandal, and some of the decisions she made in various offices. But time and time again, she apologized and proved that she was human, made mistakes, and would learn from it. It is one thing to make a mistake, and apologize but Donald never seemed to care if what he said or did hurt people. He laughed and let his followers roar in hate. The monster grew and grew.

And don’t kid. There are a lot of men that do not want a woman to run the country. I have family members I believe would say this to be true. They were scared of it, and that is sad. It takes an incredibly tough, thick-skinned person to run, and a lot of women just would not want to be in that role or even fight for that role. I hope there are more women like Hillary motivated to do what it takes to ever be able to run for that kind of office. But I could not help but feel I might not ever see that again in my lifetime.

So the beast won. Hate won. Calling names won. Bullying won. Prejudice won. Grabbing pXXXX won. It is sad, scary, and damn right a shame.

Now I struggle. A big part of me wants to run like hell. Tortola here we come! But that is not realistic. I love where I live, love what I do, love who I do it with.

I also want to join the protestors and yell “not my president” as loud as I can. But I would be a sore loser and it will not change anything but most likely will make the “beast” more irate. Remember, he has a list of enemies to “get back at”.

I want to unfriend so many on Facebook, and have hidden quite a few. I have lost some respect for people I know who voted for him proudly, and everywhere I go, wonder “is that a Trump supporter because they seem so happy right now.”

But I can’t. You taught me better. When you lost your elections, you always gracefully moved on. You never gave up and often decided to run again. You finally did win, and you won again. You were friends with democrats, republicans, and everything in between. Thanks for showing me how to be a gracious loser.

Then there is my big philosophy that everyone, even my enemies, has something good about them. They might be greedy, hateful, and rude, but they still have SOMETHING good about them. The last few days, I have had to remind myself of the time I liked Trump. I know deep inside there is a good person and he has built an incredible, though questionable, corporation. I am willing to give it a chance, willing to move on from the pain I feel over the loss from the election.

Riley read me Oh the Places You Will Go to me randomly this morning and this passage really stuck. Hope it helps you in the strange way it did for me:

I’m sorry to say so

but, sadly, it’s true

that Bang-ups

and Hang-ups

can happen to you.


You can get all hung up

in a prickle-ly perch.

And your gang will fly on.

You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch

with an unpleasant bump.

And the chances are, then,

that you’ll be in a Slump.


And when you’re in a Slump,

you’re not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself

is not easily done.


You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.

A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!

Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?

How much can you lose? How much can you win?


And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…

or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?

Or go around back and sneak in from behind?

Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,

for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.


You can get so confused

that you’ll start in to race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,

headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place…


…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go

or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow

or the waiting around for a Yes or No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.


Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for the wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.



That’s not for you!


Somehow you’ll escape

all that waiting and staying

You’ll find the bright places

where Boom Bands are playing.


With banner flip-flapping,

once more you’ll ride high!

Ready for anything under the sky.

Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!


Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!

There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.

And the magical things you can do with that ball

will make you the winning-est winner of all.

Fame! You’ll be as famous as famous can be,

with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.


My Top Ten Memories of the last 10 Years of the Charleston Wine + Food Festival

Dear Dad:

Even though I wrote about the subject right after I resigned two years ago as Director of the Festival, I thought with this week’s 10 year anniversary that it was a good time to reflect, remind, and recall my top ten moments of the last ten years of the Charleston Wine + Food Festival:

  1. The Original Planning Committee: Little has been mentioned in this year’s celebrations about the original group of volunteers who made the festival what it is today. But they cannot be forgotten and this group should be recognized for all the hard work, time, money, tears, contacts, and wisdom they put into the event that very first year and almost every one since: thank you Caroline Lee Jackson, Caroline Mancill, Craig Donofrio, Linn Lesesne, Lisa Buzzelli, Nathalie Dupree, Marc Collins, Matt McKeown, Marion Sullivan, Michael Saboe, and Mickey Bakst. You rock!
  2. Year Two and all the Mistakes: I admit, we got a little cocky with the Festival after having a very successful first year and it bit us hard. We had mud pits at the opening gala, a fire marshall threatening to close the Village, a kid’s village, 20,000 recipe books to bind and assemble by hand by a team of volunteers (sorry Deidre), trade day, and an 18 wheeler truck driving down King Street filled with pork and grills from a famous pitmaster. Don’t get me wrong, it was not all bad, and I greatly appreciated the lessons we learned and the plans we made for the future as a result of it.
  3. Laura Hewitt: One of the Festival’s founding board members, also became the second Board Chair and her and her husband Bill helped fund and found the Friends of the Festival Program. Laura was a champion of good food and wine in Charleston and she led the charge to make the Festival financially sound. She was a great mentor, friend, supporter, mother-type for me and I was devastated with her loss last year. She will always be an angel overlooking Marion Square making sure the event goes as planned.
  4. Daniel Boulud, Bobby Flay and all the guest chefs: It was an amazing opportunity for me to meet all of the chefs I did over the eight years running the Festival. Some were true gems, some were amazing talents, and some were huge a-holes. I could write a book about my dealings and wish I had kept a journal to document it all. I am fortunate that so many of them are good friends today (especially you snack) and have continued to support me on my efforts and pursuits.
  5. Frank Stitt: One chef in particular stood out as one that had a lasting impression. Not just on me, but on Charleston. His influence and impact became so apparent the one year he took a break from the Festival, that we decided it was only appropriate to name an annual chef award after him and organize a tribute dinner in his honor. It was an incredible experience to witness his surprise by the attention (because he is that humble) and hopefully he will continued to be honored for his major impact on southern cuisine. Hint, hint James Beard Awards Committee…
  6. All the crazy event ideas: Thanks to people like Jeff Allen, Ida Becker, Mitchell Crosby, and others who came to us with some “out there” ideas. It was risky to organize events like the Critics Dinner at Ft. Sumter, the Wafflehouse Smackdown, an offshore fishing trip with a dozen or so chefs, the James Beard Foundation semi-finalists announcement pre-dinner at Ft. Moultrie, and a soul food shuffle, but the reward was the end result–some of the best events produced in the city, and possibly at any festival ever.
  7. The “behind-the-scenes” moments: There was so much that was never seen by the public eye but were defining moments of the festival. Things like an unnamed staff member leaving a van running for over 12 hours before noticing, a board member carrying endless amounts of cash around the park not knowing how or where to store it, and all of the things that happened in the FIG kitchen at the after party. I could go on and on about these moments more than any others and it is probably the one thing I miss the most. #updog
  8. My events dream team Randi Weinstein and Sara Donahue: I could not say enough about the two of these ladies. They are incredibly talented and dedicated and the three of us just clicked. I have never seen two people work so hard, dedicate so much of their time and life to something, and accomplish so much for an event. I miss working with them and if I could, would erect a monument somewhere in Marion Square in their honor.
  9. Spending time with my Mom: From the very first year, my mother and her partner Bob, would drive down from her home in the upstate to work a full week at the Festival. The first part of the week was spent with me, and the rest for the event itself. She did anything and everything I asked and was on site before most staff and often the last to leave. Aside from that, she was my greatest cheerleader. Not having that much time together growing up, it was nice to finally have time to bond and it was incredibly touching to have so many people come up to me during the weekend and say “I met your mom, and she is really proud of you Angel!” Those were some of the best words I heard all weekend and I treasure those weeks we spent together.
  10. Being a Guest: I am still working with the Festival indirectly, this time via my clients. But my goal when first starting the Festival was to always be a spectator, and I am excited to now be in that position. There is nothing better than to sleep in, stay up late, eat and drink, and not have to worry about the weather, pissing off a million folks, dealing with the egos, and having to care about what was or was not selling out. I do recognize how hard that job is and commend the new team leading the charge to continue to grow and build an amazing Festival. Cheers to 10 years and may the next 10 be filled with another blog of memories and highlights of an incredible event for our city!

Oh wait, #11, I always forgot to recognize my husband at closing speeches, and here I go again. Thanks Arnold, for supporting me then and for continuing to support me even more today!



What it was like being on the other side of the Festival.

Dear Dad:

So many people asked me over the weekend what it was like to be on the other side of the Festival that I thought I would be the first to let you know. There are probably others who wanted to ask but didn’t think it was the right thing to do. Or people just speculated or asked others close to me. But here it is for you–my top 10 points on what it was like being on the other side of the Charleston Wine + Food Festival:

  1. First and foremost, it was great! For those of you that saw me, you know I enjoyed every second of it. I wasn’t stressed, I was able to do exactly what I wanted to, when I wanted to do it and with who I wanted to do it with. I had always heard it was a fun weekend but to finally experience it first hand as an attendee, I now can concur–it was a great time!
  2. Not that I wanted to jump in and help, but I did feel for the staff–especially for Randi Weinstein and Sara Donahue, when the weather was crappy during set up. They work so hard all year-long to develop a plan, to create the best events they can, and to have to deal with cold, rainy, muddy conditions, it turns all those plans into mush–literally. They did not let it stop them and worked hard to make it all work, and it did.
  3. I was not there to judge–I was there to celebrate. So many people came to me and either criticized stuff or wanted me to say bad things. Sure there were things here and there they can fix, but overall it was another amazing year and I was there to celebrate that, not bash it.
  4. It was nice to finally be publicly recognized by the Festival for doing a great job with starting and running it for 8 years. It might have taken them a year, but having Gillian Zettler, the new director, mention me and the accomplishments I had achieved for the event in a speech was a such great thing, and much appreciated.
  5. I did not realize how many frindge and unofficial events there were during the Festival–and how great they all were. The majority of my schedule was filled with these parties and they were honestly some of the best events I have been to in Charleston.
  6. I loved being able to do whatever I wanted to do! Take shots from a boob ice luge, sit back and joke around with friends about apps like Tinder, have longer than five-minute conversations with most people–I did it all and did not mind the hangover each morning as a result of it.
  7. Festival events should not start until at least 10:00AM. Having three days of early events, I will say it was hard to manage and do it with a smile. Now being on the other side, I realize it is really hard to be up and at ’em at 8AM without bags under the eyes.
  8. It was great running into so many volunteers. Everyone was so sweet and said the nicest things to me all weekend. I did not realize how many people I had become close to over the years and really enjoyed seeing them all!
  9. I missed my ticketing team. Not that I wanted to deal with a single wristband or scanner, the team that runs ticketing is the bomb! LK, Paul and Kim….I loved seeing you and missed having the time together with you like I did in the past. Drop it like its hot!
  10. Having a golf cart is still key. It was so helpful and allowed me to get to and from with so many friends in tow. I walked away with a lot of swag, a parking ticket and three new umbrellas because of it.

So no need to ask, there it is to see. Being on the other side did two important things–confirmed my decision to leave and made me proud of being part of something so important for our city. Here’s to another great year in 2015!


Finding Out Who Your True Friends Are…

Dear Dad:

First of all, it has been some time since I wrote my last post. And, it was a damn good post. AND I have had a lot going on. Leaving a high-profile, high paying job was what some have called “ballsy” but the risk has paid off a million times over. Don’t get me wrong. It was hard leaving an organization that I built from the ground up, in my house, with most of my equipment and resources. The hours, the time, the money I put into the Festival was enormous but leaving it made me realize a lot of important things. One of which is who your friends really are.

What surprised me the most is who all were not just friends, but major supporters. The letters and calls from chefs from all over was overwhelming. Nico Romo’s email was one of the most touching and he and other Charleston chefs over and over said things like “I wish I had told you before how much we appreciated what you did.” I cried reading these and never knew the extent over how many people I really did help along the way.

One of my favorite calls was from Rathead. Here is someone who I don’t know super well, but well enough to love and adore him (and his wife). He called soon after to say he was first bummed that I was leaving but on the other hand was excited for me–we now could go out all night during the Festival and then best of all I could SLEEP IN! Amen to that!

Then there were the media. People who I have developed friendships with all of my career and ones I will probably work with the closest with my new business. They all were great, even those I was worried might run the other way when I reached out, since I was now part of the “dark side.” Not naming names, but the opposite has actually happened and so many of them have called and emailed me excited about the new venture and sharing their support.

My “out of the office” friends and family have all been amazing. You have supported my efforts, been my biggest cheerleaders and have helped take care of my boys during all the trips and late nights I have had while building the business.

Wow, and the clients. I love each of you so much and am beyond thrilled that I found a mix of people who fit perfect with Home Team’s philosophy and personality. I can swear, drink and say whatever the hell I want around you and it makes my days go by fast as I enjoy every single minute.

I appreciate all the calls and emails I got from those who really did not know me well and that I never really spent much time with. The volunteers, the community leaders, the people who I always looked up to over the years. Each note has meant the world.

But as I expected there are some that showed their true colors and even though I thought our relationships were real and deep, now that I am not in a position to help them, I am no longer a person they need in their lives. Most of these so-called friends are ones that I can write off as “part of that chapter” and I am glad I know who is and who is not real friends.

So to the people who love me, that support me and have done all they can to be a true friend, thank you. I will always be the same for you and can’t wait to share this new chapter together.


To New Beginnings

Dear Dad:

A philosophy you always instilled in me was that change was hard, but change was good. It is hard to make a change when things are good, but I also believe it is important to follow your heart…and your head and take a new path when it presents itself so clearly.

So today I announce a new beginning and not an ending. I have been honored to have started and led such an incredible organization that has really helped Charleston elevate itself as a leading culinary destination. When the thought of a food and wine festival in the city was first discussed there were only a dozen or so restaurants/chefs paving the way, Mike Lata was a young chef at Anson just beginning to think about starting his own place and Johnson & Wales was closing its doors. But dreams were in the making and big things were about to happen. The Festival was an exciting part of that and I am beyond words when I think of where we have come, and what this city has become.

I have a ton of memories, enough to write a book or two. Most of which I cannot share openly because they were private and intended for me to experience. Some have been amazing and I have and will share more with you in the coming years. And some have not been so great. Egos are prevalent and some of the things I have had to deal with were unfortunate. It is a shame that people’s motives are not always pure, but for those who’s are…thanks!

I am leaving the greatest staff there is. It is what is making leaving so hard to do. They breath, live, love, give, care, cry, sweat, hurt…all for the organization and the Festival is extremely lucky to have them. And they will always be a part of my family.

My friends now are far and wide and I have had so many adventures traveling around visiting them. The SIIS tour, Memphis in May, Lambstock, Symposium, Music to Your Mouth, Aspen and New York too many times to count–all have been life changing experiences.

So many will ask why, and my only answer is why not. I never intended to run the Festival and always wanted to get back to doing my own thing. It is time. I am ready.

I will remain a part forever and cannot wait to see what happens next. And to those that loved, supported, championed and cared for me…thank you! I will always be grateful for you and am proud to call you my friend.

Until we meet again,


A little storybook to say it even better:

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The Greatest Friend You Could Ever Have–Lisa Buzzelli

Dear Dad:

You could only be so lucky to have a friend like Lisa Buzzelli. And this comes from someone who has had a ton of friends in and out of my life. Lisa is one of the most caring, thoughtful, entertaining, engaging, loving, inquisitive friends I have ever had the pleasure of having.

I have only known Lisa for a few years (make that 10) and have had some really incredible moments with her. Whether she knows it or not, she has had a major impact on me and my life, as well as my kids, my family, my friends, my profession, my city…and on and on.

When I first met her, she was the manager at newly opened IMAX Theatre (which has since closed). It was then when I got to see how talented she was and to see her love for the city. She lead the charge in creating synergy to the area and was smart with her approach to marketing Aquarium Wharf as a destination. She thought big and had incredible vision. She assembled one of the best staffs I have ever seen who were equally as talented, passionate and creative.

It was obvious to have her part of the Festival when we were coming up with the initial concepts. She instantly agreed to serve as one of the original Planning Committee members and headed up all of the marketing efforts. I learned from her how to be super creative, how to turn over every stone possible and how to do it all without spending a dime. She is queen of collaboration and cross-promotion.

Since her early days on that Committee, she has remained one of the few original volunteers that is still extremely involved in the organization and has appropriately been named “Queen Volunteer”.

But more than a hard worker, she is a dedicated and thoughtful friend. She is the first to send you a card and a little gift “just because”. Her gifts are extremely thoughtful including the pez with labels, the lottery tickets, the liquor and wine and much more.

Lisa is a part of my family. When she agreed to become Chase’s godmother, she took it extremely seriously and still remains active in his life (yes sending cards and gifts for every holiday–who does that?). And because I know her like I do, I am sure she lights a candle for him when she goes to church.

“Lisa B” as we call her, is one of the best people to have while you are out to dinner or at a bar. She asks a million questions, which I love, and really cares to find out how you are, what’s new in the world and how she can help out. I could sit around for hours with her on a deck or dock somewhere, shooting the shit, drinking–her Miller Lite, me red wine–and laughing about our lives.

My only regret is she does not work with me day in and day out. I wish there had been a way to have her part of the Festival team full-time. I know she would make an incredible addition and would really help continue to elevate the event to enormous potential.

Dad, I know you have had friends like Lisa and as you would do, I embrace her and treasure every moment we have together. I hope to continue to learn from her and to become a better person just trying to be half the friend she is to me and to so many others.

So to friends like Lisa! May they always be around and always know how amazingly great they are.



This is who to be thankful for…

Dear Dad:

What a more appropriate time than this week to let you know what I am really thankful for. Well besides the normal things in life–kids, husband, family, friends, killer job, awesome life, etc. I am super thankful for all of the people who probably never get thanked.

If you don’t know it already, I have a huge heart for those people who work behind-the-scenes thankless jobs. Yes you know them but many just walk past them without blinking an eye or saying a thing. These are the people who do the disgusting jobs, the jobs that require you work horrendous hours and who sacrifice so much that others take for granted daily. Yes I am talking about the guy I drove past at 7:00AM in the Snyder truck that was going to pick up the rentals from the night before. They are the cooks and chefs that stay in the kitchen, they are those cleaning up the trash as people lavishly consume at a holiday function. They are the dishwashers, the driver of a shuttle, the crew laying out pipe and drape. They are people like Eric and Patrick at PDA. Most people would never meet them but they are some of my all time favorites. Without them, the events or experiences you enjoy the most would not look or sound so good.

It is upsetting to me when people disregard those who work these jobs. And worse, treat them like they are better than they are. These people to me are some of the greatest people around. They are my friends, my colleagues, and sometimes my family! That is why the first thing I do when I go to an event is not go to the bar or find the food station. I look around and find the “crew”, say my hellos and get excited to know they are with me for the night. And even though my job requires me to spend the majority of time in front, welcoming and celebrating with others (which I love to do as well) most days I would prefer being in the backup spaces, catching up with my friends, thanking them for what they do and helping them with their jobs.

I know that if anyone knows this better than me, it is you. You raised me to be thankful, giving and loving to all no matter what they do, what they have or who they are. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your love for people, especially the people in the background, because they are some of the most amazing people around. People like Arnold at Hospitality Staff. No matter what he is doing–cleaning up trash, serving you a beer, welcoming you to an event–he does it with the biggest smile and spirit and makes your day that much brighter.

So this thanksgiving, I thank all of those who probably have not been thanked all day, who are probably working away. What you do amazes me and the world is a better place with you a part of it.


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Chefs, the most generous people I know!

Dear Dad:

I hate to write two back to back letters that are chef related, but in light of what happened last week in the north with Hurricane Sandy, I have no choice.

If you don’t know it already, chefs (and restaurant owners) are some of the most generous, giving people ever. I am constantly amazed by how much they donate to charities ALL OF THE TIME. And it is not just local charities, it is national campaigns and projects. It means flying all over the world, taking time out of their kitchens, most of the time donating the product they serve and working their ass off for causes of all shapes and sizes. I often worry that they do too much and at some point they will all start saying no. But they don’t and they give, give and give.

And it is not just giving to charities and communities, they give to others. They give just by coming out on a busy night to say hello or by sending some special dish for you to enjoy. It is never necessary and always appreciated. They give to their staff’s by mentoring, providing opportunities, experiences and more. They give their life and sacrifice a lot personally by having long and late hours, sweating hard in the kitchen and working most holidays and special occasions, when most others are at home with loved ones enjoying the fruit of their labor.

Chefs give to me in so many ways. They have given me some of the best meals of my life. They are my friends and support me emotionally and professionally week in and week out. They entertain me–they are fun, crazy and sometimes beyond wild. They give to what I do with their time, their ideas, their food, their venues and more.

So that is why I am writing this. It is time to give to them. First, there are so many chefs that lost hundreds of thousands of food and revenue last week after the hurricane. Some lost their restaurants or worst, their homes. But even with that said, most of those affected are out their donating their food, time and services to others in need. That is how amazing they are! But they too need to be supported and I encourage everyone reading this to go visit their restaurants as much as possible. Or if unable to jump on a plane, make a donation to one of the charities assisting their efforts.

We also need to give ongoing and unconditional support in our own towns and communities. Thank them more for what they do, patronize as much as you can, tell your friends and family how amazing they are.

So this is my thank you to all of the chefs who I am blessed to have as a friend, supporter, champion, mentor and guaranteed-good-meal-provider!


p.s. I have another letter coming about the behind-the-scenes staffs that also need the love and support. But while out, be sure to tip, and tip well!

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